It's a Glorious Monday Morning

Walked outside this morning and abruptly turned back around and grabbed a jacket. It was freaking chilly outside! I LOVE IT!

Had a nice cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte (out of a packet but it's still yummy) to warm me up just a tad and to also knock the cobwebs away from my still sleepy mind. Then it was time to grab the yoga mat.

I don't remember where I read it or when, but I distinctly remember reading somewhere that practicing Ashtanga is like being a moving train. Some days I feel like this and some days I don't. Today happened to be one of them. Albeit, a slow moving train.

Since the practice is an ordered sequence, there is no guess work in what comes after the pose you just completed. There is no guess work on how many breaths you take. Your body moves with the breath to the sequence that was laid out years and years ago. It becomes almost like a dance (if one is watching from the outside). You're lost in the rhythm of the flow and ebb of the breath and movements of the body.

This morning I unrolled my mat in a slightly different place, still the living room, but it was angled east and west verses north and south. I had dogs on both sides of me and a cat begging for attention. I concentrated on the breath as I began inhaling and exhaling. I engaged the moola bandha (short time because I can never seem to keep it engaged:/) and raised my arms over head to begin Surya A. That one began slow because my uterus had to remember that it may get a little squished and that it shouldn't hurt me in the process. Took about two Surys for it to become comfortable with the movements again after my not practicing for a few days.

The first sequence of Surys flew by until I realized that I was sitting down into Utkatasana. This sequence was almost like my train hit a TALL mountain range. There were some ups and downs along the way. I was trying to find my breath, I tend to lose it here since becoming further along in my pregnancy. I finally found a rhythm that worked as I stepped into number three of the five that I was completing. I had to extend my breath count in Urdhva Mukha Svanasana, as well as, Virabhadrasana I. For some reason, it is hard to move through Surya B from UMS to Vira for me. I'm not sure if it is the speeding up of the sequence because your supposed to use one breath count or the fact that I don't completely have my breath under control when I move into this sequence.

I try to make my breath steady but it tends to get ragged and rough during that portion of the sequence. Alas, I made it through the sequence though :). It made me happy to make it through 5 of each sequence this morning.

I hope the weather stays cool but then again I'm in the south and nothing is ever this wonderful so early in the year :/. I shall enjoy it while it's here though.

Gap In Practice + Soul Searching

Even though I brought my mat with me for my four day drill weekend I still haven't made it on it. Last day I practiced was Tuesday I believe. Makes me sad really. There hasn't really been time though. I've been busy studying and then whenever I have the time, there is food in my stomach so I can't exactly practice either way.

Soul searching will be beginning soon. Having a Bachelors degree isn't as successful as I had anticipated. Of course I anticipated doing something with my degree that was related to my degree. Sucks when your mind has something totally different planned but it doesn't share the idea with the rest of your being. I know what I want to do but have to wait quite a bit before that happens. In the mean time, I need to find some sort of job that I can do while waiting for my plans to take flight. I just don't see how people can work doing something that they don't enjoy. For instance, those who work at, say, an office but hate office work. I substitute, but dread every day that I get called in.

You aren't supposed to dread your job. Of course that is why it's called a job and not a career I guess. How does one figure out what sort of career would be worth doing for the rest of ones life? I get bored easily. Quite easily.

All of this has led me to my soul searching expedition.

Monday will be the beginning of the search and my attempt to get back on track with my practice. Tomorrow I still have one drill to complete. It's going to be miserable. They're so protective of me since I'm pregnant. I can't life anything. Not even things that are small.

I feel like an indian giver. Promising always to return to my practice, only to fall away from it time and again. ONLY this time I'm pregnant and not just getting away from the practice due to a lack of interest.

Sorry for the randomness.

Well Folks

 First off.. I said that I would let you all know if I managed to check off items on my to-do list for yesterday.


Here they were:

1-GET UP EARLY and complete at least 10 Surya Namaskara's (whether they are all A or half A and half B).

2-Doctors visit3-Study

4-Afternoon wind down practice (mainly consisting of legs-up-the-wall to combat RLS)

5-Reading of the Yoga Sutra

6-Sleep




And this is how they went:

1- Got up, but not as early as I wanted. Completed 5 Surya A's and 3 Surya B's (them B's are kicking my pregnant butt with moving the foot forward and backward in the Vira part of the sequence)




2- The visit was good and quick. Gained 4 pounds since the last visit; bringing my total to a whooping 24 lbs gained now in 32 weeks.


3- I did indeed study. I finished my A&P and Nutrition homework for the week :)


4-Does Savasana on the bed count? If not, then I didn't make this practice cause my stomach felt like poop.


5- I actually read some of the Gita yesterday instead of the Sutra. The Sutra will be read tonight.


6- Sleep was much disturbed by frequent potty breaks. Darn my ever living small bladder.



Nevertheless, even though today was a hectic day it was a pretty good/bad day. Good, because my husband sold his Jeep. Bad, because he didn't get the job he had applied for :(. Now he's kicking his butt for not getting it. BUT, the lord knows where he wants us to be at and it wasn't Texas apparently. 




With the Jeep sold we have extra cash in the savings account for junior if we should need it in the future. I'm going to continue keeping on with my practice and studies and hopefully I'll come to some conclusion of what I can do for a career in the near future. Considering beginning an MBA degree first and then gonna go from there. Nutrition would be great but I live too far from universities at the moment to consider driving three days a week. Maybe I can get some sort of certification later though. 


I think I'm going to attempt to keep the same general routine going for a while. I liked it. Well maybe not a doctor visit everyday but the rest will be nice to try. Not to mention having a routine set out is nice too. Claudia wrote a nice little blog on routines not to long ago. Except hers detailed 7 morning practice that are great for a yoga practice. I hope to use most of her tips as my world begins to become shaky with a baby coming my way.


Oh, the changes the changes. But of course the only constant in life IS change :)

I Have Reached That Point

It's sad to say, but for the second day in a row forward bends have been troublesome. I must re-analyze my practice and adjust for my enlarging belly.

I suspect there will be bent knees and my breath counts will elongate a bit more during the practice as well. I'm going to experiment tomorrow to see which adjustments feel best. Not to mention I will be going in for a visit to my doctor, I imagine she will give me an estimate on how big my baby is now.

The time is starting to slow down now. The last few months of the pregnancy have flown by and now that the ending is in sight, it feels as though things are slowing down as my impatience gets the best of me. Of course, my impatience is probably due to my uncomfortableness at the moment. I swear it feels as if someone has tried to squeeze an overgrown watermelon into my stomach, and my stomach isn't adjusting for the extra matter in my belly. Uncomfortable!

Anyways, practice needs adjustment. I'm almost getting bummed out because of how drastically my practice has changed up to this point. Most of the changes have really happened in the past two-three weeks. (sighs)

I can't wait to be able to practice at full speed once again...... I guess I should relish the lacksadaisy practice for the time being since most of my energy will be taken away by my child once he is born. They say to get rest while you can in the last month or two because you won't get it once your child is born... I just can't seem to rest like others. Heck, I tried napping today and ended up studying. Go figure.

Tomorrows agenda:
GET UP EARLY and complete at least 10 Surya Namaskara's (whether they are all A or half A and half B).
Doctors visit
Study
Afternoon wind down practice (mainly consisting of legs-up-the-wall to combat RLS)
Reading of the Yoga Sutra
Sleep

Lets see what I can check off tomorrow.

Finally, I Practiced, But Wait!

I definitely meant to get up and practice this morning, but lately I've felt like poop. I really don't feel like doing much of anything. It literally takes energy to get out of bed to walk my dogs, and that is sad. It really is. I've often considered calling on my husband to walk the girls by himself, but then if I did that I'd feel like a total bum and I'm not even that big in the belly yet. Albeit, I am uncomfortable.

Nevertheless! I waited until lunch time food had sufficient enough time to pass through my stomach so that I wouldn't get queasy from all the up down movements of the Surya Namaskara's. My intention: get at least half primary in today. My accomplishment: 5 Surya A's, 3 Surya B's, and the two closing postures (I've omitted the lifts from now on).

Now, there is a particular reason WHY I stopped where I did. Although, I wish I could have kept going. I started feeling some stretching pains in my lower abdomen. The kind of pains that aren't exactly "the good kind of pain". I pushed through the last Surya B and said "well Brianna, I guess that's where you're stopping today," and I did a few cat-cows and minor twists to try to ease some tension in my back. I wasn't happy I had to stop, but I managed to get on my mat and I managed to practice.

Then, after I had come to the conclusion that I can't keep up like I use to because of my present condition, I came across a shared link by Anthony Grim on Facebook for a post on "How to start an Ashtanga Yoga home practice, and how to fail at it (several times)." Maya Lassiter was the woman who posted it, and— granted I wasn't away from yoga as long as her— I felt like I was reading a blog that I could have posted. All I had to do was swap out names for certain books and DVDs and that was how I felt about starting a home practice.

Her post hit the nail on the head when it comes to starting a home practice. I started one because I live in BFE and the nearest place to practice is over an hour a way. Not to mention, the closest Ashtanga studio is either 2 hours north of me or 5 hours south of me. The one 5 hours south of me is the reason I got "hooked" on Ashtanga. Melanie Fawer has a wonderful DVD that helped me along with my practice.

Coming across Maya's post though made me think back on my own little trek to where I am. I'm just wondering where I'll be in two or three years from now. Maybe I'll finally be into the intermediate series. Provided I don't get pregnant again haha.

Yoga Sutra 1.10

Yoga Sutra 1.10
Deep sleep is that fluctuating of mind which the waking and dreaming experience are both negated. 

Going over this sutra by Maehle was....... confusing a bit. He spoke of four different states; the waking, dreaming, dreamless, and transcendental states. When in one of the first three it negates the others, but when in the transcendental state there is awareness of the first three. Then he speaks about the dreamless sleep fluctuation...where does that one from?

"For liberation to occur, objectless samadhi has to become permanent. If the deep-sleep fluctuation were still present, it would make objectless samadhi impermanent."

I guess my question, that I'll research, would be "what is objectless samadhi, and how does one attain it?" I think I've read over it before but at the moment my brain isn't wanting to pull forth the information.

Saturday, September 1st

Beginning of a new month and with the beginning of a new month in the year, I begin a new month of pregnancy. I can't believe that on Tuesday I will be EIGHT months pregnant! I made it up to the end of 7 months before I started becoming uncomfortable, but I guess that can only last so long before the pains of pregnancy begin to set in.

With the dawning of a new month, I am hoping that some good changes are in the makings for me and my husband. I'm not just meaning the birth of our son, but also changes that could impact our life in a good way further down the road.

I am patiently waiting for news so that, not only can my husband have a new job, but also so I can figure out what I am going to do for a job once my son is old enough. Trouble will be considering what really matters to me and what I would want to do for the remainder of this life. I thought it was teaching children, but learned quickly that while, it may be rewarding sometimes, I don't think I'm cut from the cloth that long time school teachers are.

Therefore, this month is my EXPLORE month! :)

Yes, I want to eventually get my teaching certificate, but the more I delve into Ashtanga, the more I want to visit Mysore. Not just for the practice or learning capacity I'm sure to experience, but also for the experience of being drenched in the historical aspect of the practice. The history behind the practice is fascinating.

I was reading through the second Preface in Guruji last night and came across an interesting tidbit of information. Guy Donahaye explained how Saturdays off developed in the practice. Guruji was always at work except days of the full moon and new moon. His family complained about not seeing him often and so he began taking Saturdays off too. Low and behold, Saturdays are off days. And here all this time I thought the Saturday off days were because of the intensity of the practice. I'm sure that is the reason that has evolved over the years since he installed the Saturday being an off day.

It's nice to know where things come from though. I'm going to look up all sorts of information to fuel this fire I have inside me. Hopefully with my ending pregnancy, I won't lose my drive to practice.

Enjoy the day off and the Labor Day weekend everyone!