Sunday, November 18, 2012

Stepping Back ON the Mat

Today marked the second time since I stopped practicing that I stepped onto my mat for a short practice. I noticed right away my tight calves and hamstrings. What I had gained only a short time ago has been lost and will need to be found again. My heels do not touch the ground and my fingertips just barely touch the floor as I bend forward.

I found myself becoming irritated with my practice and when I did I simply let myself hang in a forward fold or rest a few moments more in down dog as I rocked back and forth between my feet. Instead of letting myself be angry at how things had changed, I merely explored them. I took time to notice where there was a tightness in an attempt to breath and loosen it.

Then after practicing I questioned myself on why I wanted to be a teacher. Random time to be thinking about this when I've already paid for my training, but it was a thought that crossed my mind. I was scrolling through Facebook, when oddly enough I found an article that pretty much summed up why I decided I wanted to teach. Not that I am trying to say that everything this fella said is my reasoning but the way he helped this particular woman is (in a sense) what I hope to accomplish as a teacher myself.

Christopher Roberts wrote a piece called "Why I Teach Yoga" and it was touching to say the least. A woman drops in to one of his yoga classes and is forever changed by his teaching methods. She thanks him for his class and explains why she attended.

Like Christopher, I hope to touch and even transform the lives of people who come to attend any of my classes; whether its two or thirty people in a class.

I also hope to inspire my child through yoga.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

10 days old and I am tired...

So far I've tried not to be aggravated with my lack of practice due to obvious reasons but the more aggravated I become the more I wish I could practice to relieve some stress and tension. I've asked one of my teachers about her experience coming back to yoga after having a child (she has three) and she said not to worry so much about asana but to let the body dictate what it needs.

Therefore, tomorrow, not today, I will be stepping onto my mat. I'm going to start with a simple meditation to at least attempt to ground myself and figure out where to go from there. Certain things may be unreachable at this time but I'm looking for a soft easy restorative sequence that will help relieve stress that is especially built up in my back.

I've tried and tried to breastfeed my child but, whether it is his lack of desire to latch on or his need for instant gratification from a bottle nipple, he has decided he doesn't want to breastfeed. It makes me sad because I wanted him to have every chance at great nutrition (not that formula isn't good but it's not mother nature's intended food). I have been resigned to pumping. This SUCKS!!!!! Not only am I left sore but there is no connection there. Well, unless I hold Connor while I am doing it, but it's not the same.

I know this post has no real dig into yoga per se but I felt compelled to write down my thoughts before I get so absorbed in them that it makes me even more upset.

Alas, here is where I stand.

Connor Campbell Nash

My son is 10 days old today... he sleeps good during the day and at the last feeding before "bedtime" he decides he DOESN'T want to sleep yet and therefore me and my husband are up until at least 12 o'clock. And that is if he decides to stay asleep. Then he's up at 2:00 to feed again and asleep by about 3:00-3:20 and then back up again at 5:30...... At this point I'm so wore out that I end up not fighting him to sleep and just let him sleep on my chest. At which point, I fall asleep. 

Do I regret anything?

Of course not. It's all an endless process that everyone goes through. I just hope (and like to think) I'm handling it like a champ! With a few tears here and there from the flush of excess hormones. 

Oy vey!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Excuse my absence . . . but :)

I want you all to meet my son, Connor Campbell Nash! :) He was born November 1, 2012 at 8:38 PM. He was 6 lbs 15.8 ozs and 18.5 inches long.