Sunday, November 11, 2012

10 days old and I am tired...

So far I've tried not to be aggravated with my lack of practice due to obvious reasons but the more aggravated I become the more I wish I could practice to relieve some stress and tension. I've asked one of my teachers about her experience coming back to yoga after having a child (she has three) and she said not to worry so much about asana but to let the body dictate what it needs.

Therefore, tomorrow, not today, I will be stepping onto my mat. I'm going to start with a simple meditation to at least attempt to ground myself and figure out where to go from there. Certain things may be unreachable at this time but I'm looking for a soft easy restorative sequence that will help relieve stress that is especially built up in my back.

I've tried and tried to breastfeed my child but, whether it is his lack of desire to latch on or his need for instant gratification from a bottle nipple, he has decided he doesn't want to breastfeed. It makes me sad because I wanted him to have every chance at great nutrition (not that formula isn't good but it's not mother nature's intended food). I have been resigned to pumping. This SUCKS!!!!! Not only am I left sore but there is no connection there. Well, unless I hold Connor while I am doing it, but it's not the same.

I know this post has no real dig into yoga per se but I felt compelled to write down my thoughts before I get so absorbed in them that it makes me even more upset.

Alas, here is where I stand.

Connor Campbell Nash

My son is 10 days old today... he sleeps good during the day and at the last feeding before "bedtime" he decides he DOESN'T want to sleep yet and therefore me and my husband are up until at least 12 o'clock. And that is if he decides to stay asleep. Then he's up at 2:00 to feed again and asleep by about 3:00-3:20 and then back up again at 5:30...... At this point I'm so wore out that I end up not fighting him to sleep and just let him sleep on my chest. At which point, I fall asleep. 

Do I regret anything?

Of course not. It's all an endless process that everyone goes through. I just hope (and like to think) I'm handling it like a champ! With a few tears here and there from the flush of excess hormones. 

Oy vey!

1 comment:

  1. It will all settle down in a few days! It's just as new to Connor as it is to you! You are doing GREAT!