Saturday, September 8, 2012

Gap In Practice + Soul Searching

Even though I brought my mat with me for my four day drill weekend I still haven't made it on it. Last day I practiced was Tuesday I believe. Makes me sad really. There hasn't really been time though. I've been busy studying and then whenever I have the time, there is food in my stomach so I can't exactly practice either way.

Soul searching will be beginning soon. Having a Bachelors degree isn't as successful as I had anticipated. Of course I anticipated doing something with my degree that was related to my degree. Sucks when your mind has something totally different planned but it doesn't share the idea with the rest of your being. I know what I want to do but have to wait quite a bit before that happens. In the mean time, I need to find some sort of job that I can do while waiting for my plans to take flight. I just don't see how people can work doing something that they don't enjoy. For instance, those who work at, say, an office but hate office work. I substitute, but dread every day that I get called in.

You aren't supposed to dread your job. Of course that is why it's called a job and not a career I guess. How does one figure out what sort of career would be worth doing for the rest of ones life? I get bored easily. Quite easily.

All of this has led me to my soul searching expedition.

Monday will be the beginning of the search and my attempt to get back on track with my practice. Tomorrow I still have one drill to complete. It's going to be miserable. They're so protective of me since I'm pregnant. I can't life anything. Not even things that are small.

I feel like an indian giver. Promising always to return to my practice, only to fall away from it time and again. ONLY this time I'm pregnant and not just getting away from the practice due to a lack of interest.

Sorry for the randomness.

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