I skipped morning practice yesterday, I know bad me, but I kept looking at my mat and it was saying "no, not today for you." So I listened. I wish I hadn't because now I feel like a chump for skipping, but stepping onto the mat this morning was difficult even with those chump feelings. I went no further than Surya A........ I did five rounds then on the sixth I ended up with my butt on the floor beginning the closing three poses. Not sure when I decided that I would quit there, but apparently my body had decided.
Pregnancy is not making this easy and I want to keep practicing because I want to stay healthy and not become lazy (or at least lazier than I've been these last few weeks). I know I should be as lazy and as relaxed as I can be right now because my life is about to be turned upside down with having a kid, but I can't seem to make myself do it. I'm the kind of person that needs to be active. If I'm stationary too long then my mind begins to wander into uncharted territories of my brain and sometimes it isn't good.
Nevertheless, I'm not pushing my body either. Pushing will do nothing but harm me and I can't be harming myself when I'm 34 weeks pregnant. I'm 6 weeks away from my due date... lord it seems like it's so close but it feels so far away. Those aches and pains of my baby rolling around in my stomach make the practice that much more uncomfortable.
Forward bending is becoming a chore, Up Dog only feels good sometimes, and my Down Dog... that thing has altered drastically. I can still mash my heels to the ground but now my stance is wider than my MAT!! :O I have to step my feet off the mat to accommodate for my belly otherwise it is uncomfortable. I assumed I'd have to spread my feet at least to mat width but never off the mat. :sigh: I guess it's just growing pains for now.
I know that after I have my baby that I can bring my practice all back together, but I'm starting to wonder if I have to begin at the beginning again. More or less I'm going to travel once a month to New Orleans to practice with a teacher down there (she's the closest there is too me). Four or five hour drive—depending on traffic— and that is both ways, to get to her studio. She has been a tremendous help thus far via email and phone conversations. If I didn't live so far away I would one day hope to assist her in teaching, but I don't think I'll ever move that far south again.
Alas, my journey through progression and regression continues in this practice. I am still muddling my way through the Sutra and Pranayama book. I will be commenting more on that soon. Stay tuned for more exciting/unexciting news on the progression/regression series this has come to be. Hopefully, not long after Connor (my baby) is born I will begin along the progression path. I'm hopeful.